Doubt sidled quietly through the doorway like a late arrival – two-faced, like January, settling in dank and chill between us. I remember your eyes blank as pages and I next the window, a waxen tablet, primed for those first stylus- scratches of disillusion – grief’s hieroglyphs.
Image of Janus: Wikimedia commons
This poem was originally written in 2025 in response to the #PoemsAbout prompt ‘#BlankPages’ from The Broken Spine - thanks to Alan Parry and colleagues for all that they do. It was then published by The Starbeck Orion on 10 July 2025, accompanied by the video reading I have reposted here. Thanks again to Paul Brookes for publishing this and two other poems on that platform.
I guess this is mainly a break-up song. I thought I would post it here today for its reference to January as two-faced or facing both ways - Janus being the ancient Roman god of beginnings and of endings - and therefore of doorways.
A more ambiguous and duplicitous beginning to a year than this first week of January 2026 would be hard to imagine, albeit new years now generally do seem to proceed in similar vein… Perhaps what I really mean is that I feel like I want to break up with 2026 before I’ve even got to know it properly…
